Enlisting Spirit in Your Quest for Love

When it comes to finding your soulmate, the Universe is ready to help.

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If a soulmate is someone placed on our path for the purposes of our spiritual evolution, it makes sense that Divine forces stand at the ready to help us meet and navigate this sacred journey to love. That’s the message from spiritual leaders and personal growth teachers who participated in our last illuminating Art of Love Summit series.

“The real prayer in manifesting a soulmate, more than trying to direct anything or control anything, is ultimately surrender,” says teacher and author of You Are The One, Kute Blackson.

It’s saying to the Divine, “Universe, Spirit, Great One, I am open, I am available,” he adds.  

But there are also important lessons to be sowed from this process. It’s not just, “God, bring my soulmate to me” and, wham-o the perfect lifelong partner just shows up and you both live happily ever after, teachers say.  

“We tend to romanticize [the idea of a] soulmate so much and we get so disappointed when we find out they are still human beings with imperfections and stuff that we have to really contend with and learn about,” says interfaith reverend Laurie Sue Brockway.

This, in fact, is one of the juiciest truths about coupling with a true soulmate: It is a perfect meeting of perfectly imperfect Divine souls that come into each other’s lives to catalyze personal growth—which can be messy and challenging business.

“I see a soulmate as a partner and a spiritual guide in many ways and another being that will be there to really help you awaken your presence of the Divine, whether that may be uncomfortable at times and very blissful at times. It’s a powerful relationship that can be a catalyst for your greatest awakening,” says author and inspirational speaker Gabrielle Bernstein.

And the right person to be our partner on this most spiritual journey may not be immediately clear to us, either.

“With our conditioning, our personalities, and our own minds, we don’t always perceive clearly. We might think we know what we need, but we don’t always know,” says Blackson.

There is also the issue of timing. Humans tend to want things when they want them—and the Divine doesn’t work on our schedule.

Wabi Sabi Love author Arielle Ford shares the story of a woman who had spent a few years doing tremendous personal work to ready herself for love, and was frustrated that she still hadn’t met her One. When she did, after three years, she learned that this man had been widowed a year earlier, and was finally coming out of mourning. They’ve been happily married for more than 25 years.

“So there was this very, very good reason [this woman hadn’t met her soulmate yet],” Ford says, adding that this is often the way the Divine path to love works. “One person’s ready and God’s preparing the other.”

But there is much we can do—and must do—while we let the Universe work its magic, these teachers say.

Take good care of ourselves—mind, body, and spirit.  

Clear out the old, heavy and no-longer-needed detritus of our lives to create room for something new. This might  include cleaning out drawers and cabinets and getting rid of old “stuff” that no longer serves us.

Embark upon activities and practices that make us feel empowered, juicy and alive.

“If you want to really find your soulmate, you can’t do anything more important than be ready for it,” says Brockway.  “Getting your own soul in shape, getting your life in shape, doing all the practical things: making sure you are [healthy], taking care of your financial life, dealing with family issues, doing anything you would need to do to begin to remove those blocks that get in the way of letting in love.”

Not only is this personal work important to create a clear space, it’s necessary to clear our “spiritual eyes,” with which we will notice the hints, nudges, and guidance that the Universe is trying to give to us, says Brockway.

Equally important, these teachers say, is that when we’re not clear and ready for higher love, it’s easy to “project our fantasies onto anybody who shows up or we just begin to follow a path that is not the path toward the true soulmate,” Brockway adds.

This is what Bernstein calls “manifestation mishap.”

“When we get into this phase of wanting and needing that partner the moment we think is right for us, we are manipulating the natural order,” she says. Instead, when we work to release all the blocks to the presence of love within us, “then we can trust and know that we’re being guided toward our match.”

As you clear your own field and source a sense of inner love, wellness, and fulfillment, your energetic vibration rises.  That’s when “we’re guided toward the energy that will be like us,” says Bernstein.  

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to scrub away all your perceived imperfections or become enlightened in order to attract true love into your life. This misperception has trapped many seekers of the heart, says Ford. “We don’t have to be perfect before we meet the one,” she says.  

“You just want to put yourself in a high enough space that when your beloved shows up in front of you and you recognize that person, you can really do that work together,” Brockway adds.  “You’re not having that person come in and save you or fix you, but [instead the two of you can] begin to really utilize the power of love to bring yourselves, each other, to a higher space in life.”

This is one of the best times for prayer, to help stay in the knowledge of the Divine perfection of your highest love union will show up in your life exactly when the time is right.

“I think that is a really powerful prayer for a person who is in the place of manifesting a romantic partner, is to stay committed to the faithfulness that what it is that we desire will be given to us in a form that is far greater than we could ever imagine and at a time that is far better than we can ever plan,” says Bernstein. “Really accepting that is part of the process of real manifestation, because when we genuinely have the power to manifest is when we are genuinely centered in the process of patience.”

A Prayer for Love

by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Dear God, loving essence of all there is, please fill me with your sacred presence. I ask for your love and guidance and for your blessings. As I explore the deep reaches of my heart, I ask for your assistance in releasing all that stands in the way of true love. May I be embraced in the circle of your love, may I be uplifted by your grace and may the arms of my true beloved find me. So it is.

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