The Manifestation Mindset: A 3-Part Exercise to Attract the Love you Desire


The Law of Attraction states that we draw to us the people, places, and experiences that match our state of being. And the good news is that you already know how to manifest because you’ve done it many, many times before. Maybe you didn’t think of it as manifestation at the time, but if you’ve created a new job or new place to live or a parking place or found the perfect little black dress at the mall, you have flexed your manifestation muscles.

And you can absolutely use them in the area of romance!

The first thing to understand when you’re manifesting is the difference between wanting and knowing. When we’re in a state of wanting (the same with needing, hoping, dreaming, wishing or yearning), all we draw to us is more of that same feeling of wanting, hoping, wishing or yearning. This certainly doesn’t get you the relationship you desire.

So the shift we need to make is to knowing: knowing and trusting that the one we’ve asked for is already ours. Knowing that our perfect right partner is out there, right now, just waiting for us to put out the cosmic welcome mat. Also know that there are many, many soulmate possibilities for each of us.

All you have to do is choose to believe in, own, embrace and live in the knowingness that your perfect partner already exists.  

The Soulmate Manifestation Exercise

1. Make a list of all the things you don’t want your soulmate to be. (You can look to your past relationships to come up with ideas.) Write down anything that comes to mind, whatever those “don’t wants” are for you.

I don’t want my soulmate to be a liar.

I don’t want my soulmate to be a cheater.

I don’t want my soulmate to be lazy.

Make a second list where you turn all of those “don’t wants,” those negatives, into powerful positive statements. So, if betrayal has been an issue in past relationships, and on your first list you have, “I don’t want a cheater,” then on the second list, turn that into “My soulmate is loyal and monogamous.”

My soulmate is honest and trustworthy.

My soulmate is loyal and monogamous.

My soulmate is passionate about his career and driven to create a beautiful shared life.

2. Now ask yourself, “What are the heart traits and qualities that I truly desire in a soulmate?” Begin to prioritize the traits and qualities that are going to fulfill you on the deepest level.

Add those to this second list.

My soulmate is

loving, kind, affectionate,

generous, compassionate,

strong, mature

My soulmate …

has a great sense of humor and makes me laugh

loves to cook dinner with me

holds my hand while we’re watching a movie together

3. Write a paragraph (or page) that describes your lifestyle together.  Really go for it! Describe what your days and nights, your weekends and holidays, your vacations are like together. As you do, begin to really marinate in the juiciness of the life that you’re creating with your beloved.

Pay attention to what comes up for you as you develop and sit with the state of being that starts to emerge. You might notice a new feeling or goal arising, or you might find yourself opening up to a new intuition. While manifestation takes different forms for different people, like a trail of breadcrumbs, this energy can lead you—bit by bit—all the way to your soulmate.


This exercise will help you get clear and then start to connect to the energy of the love you desire. This is the essential first step to magnetize that energy to come into your life.

To your soulmate—who is on their way to you!




  1. Thank you so much. You are a beautiful human being with a delicate and amazing spirit. You and your team are wonderful.

    Thank you again…. because I was ready to leave “relationship” love alone.

    Even though my gift is loving people righteously, my heart was ready to say noooooooooo to another guy.:(

    She’s (my heart) learning to open up and become open to new possibilities and a new level of loving and being loved (Properly, according to 1st Corinthians 13) by a Man/King.

    <3 I appreciate your Spirit for sending me this message.

    Peace and Love to you and your team.

  2. Thank you so much Arielle. You are a beautiful human being with a delicate and amazing spirit. You and your team are wonderful.

    Thank you again…. because I was ready to leave “relationship” love alone.

    Even though my gift is loving people righteously, my heart was ready to say noooooooooo to another guy.:(

    She’s (my heart) learning to open up and become open to new possibilities and a new level of loving and being loved (Properly, according to 1st Corinthians 13) by a Man/King.

    <3 I appreciate your Spirit for sending me this message.

    Peace and Love to you and your team.

  3. I so enjoy your romantic, yet common sense approach to all good things in life. Thank you for continuing to send me your blog over the last several years. I enjoyed you appearing with Kathy Lee.


  4. This is wonderful and I feel I have found my guy, but he feels and says he wants me, but wants me to continue dating to make sure he is the guy for me! I just can not understand him! I get the feeling he thinks he can not satisfy me in our love making?

  5. Hi Ariel:

    A process that I do use. However, some how as an intuitive empathy – Highly Rare HSP, my filter of discernment goes sideways in my personal relationships. I get to a level of trust, open my heart, create safety, have done my preliminary – yet (as we know in time) a misrepresent always seems to surface in a potential.(RMK)

    My friends, family, clients and even former lovers have said to me “I know exactly what I want for a life partner and that I live my life exactly as I say I do”. I am open and honest (probably to a fault) as I have a belief that you are only as good as the word you speak and do. I have strong integrity and follow through with exactly what I say I will do, yet I rarely promise more than I know I can deliver. I am traditional that a handshake stands on promise.(RMK)

    This seems to throw most people off – I am exactly as I describe myself to be. I do this in hopes that an other will be completely honest with me too – thus to avoid head games or being MindF***ed with. (ok there I revealed a don’t want – deep seeded from past experience and also a true psychological term) Logically it makes sense to think this way – heart wise – you are to TRUST that another won’t do that with you and come to the table clean.(RMK)

    On the rare occasion I will get a resounding NO – Stop – put on the brakes – something is off. I usually am aware that this is GOD saying – take another look and yes DO kick in your Therapist Mind – examine process and truly see where this person is at. I have been accused in the past for being to brainy and therapy in relationship – so I have made a practice to not be a Therapist in my personal relationships – unless asked to help process. (RMK)

    Of course, being highly sensitive I am always in somewhat of my own process of clearing, grounding and check in to ensure I am always being authentic and not taking on another’s energy. Sometimes I get so zapped that I actually begin to empathy exactly the sub-conscious mind of another and their fear – which in general, I have moved out of that place and live and have created a very health life style that supports all aspects of my sensitivities – it took a while to get there but I am there and have overcome a tremendous amount to get to this place. (RMK)

    What I have come to learn and Its funny though, how others just expect, because of my experience 30+ yrs, that I should just know what to do and accept all behavior as is. Oh and that I should be able to play God and separate my personal impact emotions with unconditional love and just love and give to another openly. Ideally that would be great all the time (meaning – not play God (lol) – but just be me – who I am) and usually I am overly generous to a fault. (RMK)

    I am strong enough though to identify when another is projecting or becoming abusive and stand… BUT (yup big but) I usually end-up being screwed over, used and left hurt and sensitively raw and drained. I know the catch phrase stuff out there – you chose to feel this or that – Really – I don’t think so – That is or did become a norm and frankly it abolishes responsibility for how you treat another and is dis-associative and reeks of irresponsibility, especially when one has no remorse and feels entitled to just be mean – cause they can. The conscious is forgotten, as is the fundamental Law of Life – Do unto others as you would have them done unto you. (RMK)

    I find it amazing that, as I have been off the grid for awhile, how an internal ethical code of practice and way of being – is still not registering in most people. All I know is that I shouldn’t have to change my good nature to protect myself. If humanity was TRULY making a shift – the undoing of dominate, power, ego self-centered capitalism (OK harsh – I know) that seems to have become a normal hunter – gather practice with no remorse way of being. (RMK)

    Why is it than, on an individualized level, so many people are still struggling in lower order thinking and power dynamics? ” Reap Sow Take” instead of “Sow, Grow, Reap.” – Renata M. Kolbus – Copyright 2014 (RMK)

    I am sharing here with you – a fundamental sacred code of personal ethics that deals with the Law of Order – Nature and its happenings, is the later formula – not the previous that seems to still be a way of being and being taught. Individualized expression is out of balance with TRUTH and TRUE Spirituality. The heart to mind connection to God and Mother Nature first and foremost. I am hopeful though that those – like yourself are truly trailblazing a path to clearer understanding. (RMK)

    Of course we never truly get there until our experiences in life have matured us to a point where we have no choice (always a choice – whether one cares enough) to truly speak out and/or make an effective change in ones behavior to make it stick. The obstacle at that point is societal conditioning – “Forever hold your tongue……” See this simple illustration of even in a wedding vow based on another’s (mis-informed) perception is encouraged in some practices – Versus that of pure soul language between a 2 person spiritual contract that no one has a right to say anything about. Just something to think about. (RMK)

    Anyways, your article describes me to a T. I have an internal language that is in general positive statements 88% of the time; While yes, as you have read, I also have an inquisitive, question, asking deep questions mind. My monkey mind and analyzing brain does often kick in – Its like a cautionary flag as I engage and I am a highly active listener when I am deciding with whom I would like to share my energy and thoughts with. Am I safe to do so…..??? – always seems to be the question and frankly its draining – Oh how people like to twist and gossip and misinterpret versus that of coming straight to the horses mouth for explanation of truth. (RMK)

    Renata M. Kolbus – Copyright February 28, 2016

  6. Arielle,

    You are a wonderful writer. Your words ring so true. Thank you so much for this article. It resonated with my heart. I feel hopeful and centred in your wisdom.
    I was a student of Debbie, your sister and you carry the same energy of sincerity, caring and sharing . It must be a family gift.

    Thank you for being a messenger for love and relationship. the world needs you so much.


  7. Extremely enlightening! I enjoyed reading this blog and plan to follow through with the soulmate manifestation exercise! THANK YOU for sharing this wisdom!