So many of us have dived really deep to discover our connection to God, to examine our self-defeating patterns and to anchor into a co-creative partnership with life. And, it’s worked! There have been ahas, some real and tangible shifts and openings have taken place—heck, your life might look very different than it did when you first embarked upon this journey of self-realization.
And yet. (I’m sensing the heads nodding already.) Despite all the work you’ve done, all you’ve learned, you still struggle. You struggle with your finances. In relationships. To make impact.
Maybe you didn’t expect rainbows and kittens and sunshine every moment, but, c’mon, really? To still have to be dealing with [fill in the blank] (debt, insecurity, a soul-deadening job, one more failed relationship)?
Oh, I’ve been there, brother (or sister). And here’s what God told me: It’s not about you.
I’ll say that again, because when I first heard it, it took a good minute or two to sink in.
It’s not about you.
None of this. None of your struggles. None of your dreams. None of your desires for something better.
Here’s the big spiritual secret no one tells you: The world doesn’t exist to meet your needs. Other people aren’t here to serve your story. You aren’t owed anything by life.
The thing is, you got your big gift: Life. Existence.
You made it, here.
And now you get to give. You get to serve. You get to share all of that which was your birthright (a veritable treasure trove!) with the entire world. The whole world!
Needless to say, this was a huge wake-up call for me. And it precipitated the shift that absolutely and irrevocably changed my life:
Instead of standing in a place of expectation …
If I do A, B will result.
I just need X,Y, and Z and then I’ll finally have made it.
When I attract this kind of woman into my life, my relationship needs will be met.
… I began to get excited, truly excited about what I could contribute.
I can share this information!
I can write about it, and try and help others understand it.
I can love someone for exactly who they are and strive to enhance their life.
I can ask someone on the street, “How’s it going today, brother?” and really listen to the answer.
That’s it. That’s what changed everything for me. I shifted my ground from being in expectation of what was due me, of what life could give me, to feeling an utter sense of excitement about what I could contribute to life, without any thought of what I might get in return.
And I began practicing it, every day, in ways big and small. And my life began to change.
Soon, all of the things I thought I wanted, I needed, the X,Y,Zs that would signal my completion? They didn’t even matter any more. And in their stead, more good fortune, abundance, opportunity and love than I ever even imagined possible just poured down on me. Just poured.
So when good people who have done so much work on themselves, whose needs seem meager in the overall scheme of things, tell me, “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, this isn’t working,” I tell them, “Let go of the expectation that anything has to work. That you need any of what you think you need to experience the exquisite joy of being fully and truly alive and aligned with your soul. And move from there.”
I know, you’re likely thinking, “OK, Neale, this sounds good, but how do you actually do this? How do you change your entire worldview, one that is mirrored everywhere in our give-and-take society?” Fair enough. It takes practice to rewire a lifetime’s worth of thinking. But there’s no time like the present to start. So, right now, ask yourself, “What can I give today?”