Blessed and Blissful Soulmates

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Soulmate love heals people while it stamps out loneliness and brings so much more happiness.

And as someone who teaches others how to manifest their soulmates, and who has been so blessed with the love of my own soulmate, I recently decided it was time to shine a light on the extraordinary benefits of living with your soulmate, as a way to encourage others.

Soulmate couples have a secret they rarely speak about: they feel fortunate to no longer have to search for true love, because they are living it every day. They realize how blessed they are to be spending their days in the embrace of their best friend, lover, and sacred partner.  

Rather than brag, or shout it from the rooftops, they quietly relish their relationship and give thanks, from a deep place of gratitude, that they have another day to spend together.

How do I know this?

Over the past nineteen blissful years with my soulmate, Brian, we’ve often talked about how blessed we are to be together and experience a relationship that exceeds our wildest dreams.   

I have also begun asking the other soulmate couples we know what life is like for them, and the answers I’ve heard are remarkably similar: in whispered and hushed tones, they have shared with me the wonder and beauty of their marriages.  

Why have we been whispering?

For two reasons: we are in awe of the sacredness of the union, and as my friend Monte Farber (co-author of The Soulmate Path) says, “it’s not polite to rub in other people’s faces how wonderful life can be when you are sharing it with your soulmate.”

Soulmate relationships can be compelling, intense, loving communions with a divine quality to them.

They are about connecting on a deep “soul” level as much as on every other dimension of human interaction.

The soulmate couples I’ve met choose to live with honesty, transparency, deeper love, devotion, openness, vulnerability and trust.

My husband, Brian Hilliard, explains it this way: “In a soulmate relationship one plus one does not equal two, it equals eleven. The love generated in this equation is a gift to the soulmate couple and to the world at large.”  

“The level of trust between soulmates is profound—and being able to trust another being on so many levels makes life so much easier.  You soulmate will mirror your best parts and your shadow self, giving you a chance to heal,” explains Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, author of

Your Interfaith Wedding.

This is why the world needs soulmate couples to find each other—as many as possible, and as soon as possible. It is a surefire way to fill our planet with more love.

I asked some soulmates I know to share their unions, and here’s what they offered up:

“Living with your best friend and lover, the one who loves you for who you are, is a wonderful gift. He or she believes in you even when you can’t see it yourself.  We let go of fears, doubts and challenges more quickly because we know we are totally loved.”

–Otto & Susie Collins, authors of Magic Relationship Words

“I am experiencing a “full contentment” I have never known.  A relationship such as this does not happen TO someone, it happens WITH someone who is truly willing to cross the terror barrier of self-disclosure again and again to find that place of true connection.”

–Mary Morrissey, author of Building Your Field of Dreams

“I love knowing my husband/soulmate is perfect for me and that he feels the same way. I appreciate how we can both completely be ourselves with no need to pretend to be something we are not.”

–Peggy McColl, author of Your Destiny Switch

“Being in our soulmate relationship nourishes us and allows us to tell the truth all the way out loud to someone else who is as interested and committed to the truth!”

–David and Maryanne Comaroto-Raynal, Author of Hindsight (Maryanne’s latest book) and host of The Power of WE

“There is a total and utter richness that exists in being with one’s soulmate. It is utopia.”

–Carla Picardi

“Being a soulmate couple is a divine dance of both witnessing and being witnessed, celebrating and being celebrated. It’s that deep spiritual connection, unwavering acceptance and knowing that someone is always there to cover your back and will be with you no matter how bad a day you’re having.”
–Jay Vogt and Stephanie Bennett Vogt, author of Your Spacious Self: Clear Your Clutter and Discover Who You Are

“Even when Vic and I are apart, I am totally relaxed in knowing that his love and devotion surround me and protect me. That kinds of love instills great confidence and it truly is a blessing.”
–Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, wedding officiant and author of Your Interfaith Wedding

“Everything tastes better when you share it with your soulmate.”

–Carlos Santana

“The soulmate relationship is both the most gratifying and the most challenging of all relationships. It’s all good and for the highest good.  It’s the evolution of the individual and collective soul of lovers once separated and now united.  It’s cosmic completion!

–Rev. Victor Fuhrman, co-author of Pet Prayers and Blessings

Some people fear that their day will never come, and that they will not be worthy of soulmate love.

Claire Zammit, my fellow co-creator of The Soulmate Mastermind online course, explained, “I always thought I was too much of this or not enough of that, but when I met my soulmate I realized I was just right for the person I was destined to be with. It’s amazing to be loved and appreciated so deeply just for being who you authentically are!”

Are soulmate relationships always blissful? No, of course not. Soulmates have work to do in the world and it begins in their own relationships.

“Your ‘Twin Flame’ will not only bring you to new heights of ecstasy but also push every one of your buttons and even some you never knew you had!,” adds Rev. Fuhrman.

Like all relationships, soulmate unions require time, energy, and attention. As Otto and Susie Collins so eloquently put it, “they require conscious effort to keep the relationship vibrant, alive and juicy.”  

Despite the occasional upset, argument or breakdown, soulmates are committed to working through their issues with honesty and transparency, knowing that the foundation for their love is strong enough to weather the storm.  

Perhaps Stephanie Bennett Vogt explains it best: “Having a soulmate is a beautiful dance towards wholeness if you’re willing to allow and learn from the inevitable messy bumps that go with the territory of being in a relationship.”

To discover how to find your soulmate, attend my brand-new, FREE, LIVE Online Event: “The 3 Keys to Using The Law of Attraction to Manifest Your Soulmate” 

About Arielle Ford

Arielle Ford is a leading personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 25 years she has been living, teaching, and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is a relationship expert, speaker, and the producer and host of Evolving Wisdom’s Art of Love series.

Arielle is a gifted writer and the author of ten books including the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her most recent book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate (Harper One) offers 16 simple, easy, and fun ways to reignite love, passion and respect to your relationship – no matter how many years it’s been since you first fell in love. With practical tools, techniques and actionable steps, this book provides everything you need to quickly create harmony and happiness on the path to a legendary love relationship. 

Arielle has been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love.” She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband/soulmate, Brian Hilliard and their feline friends.

Solving Our #1 Modern Health Problem

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In this 20-minute audio, Evolving Wisdom’s Arielle Ford interviews Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson on the meaning of health and the riddle of weight loss that leaves so many of us puzzled.

Susan holds a PhD in Brain and Cognitive Sciences and she is also in the top .01% of weight loss success stories.

During the interview, Susan shares a deeply inspiring definition of health, busts the myth of infinite willpower, clarifies how our brains are miswiring such that many of us eat more food than we need… and offers listeners a powerful solution.

Listen Here.

Follow this link to take Dr. Susan’s ‘Susceptibility Quiz’

 

A Simple Tool That Can Instantly End Your Suffering

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You may know this or you may not, but the central cause of suffering in our lives is the idea that something is happening that should not be happening. Both struggle and suffering are creations of the mind, which is, of course, where your reality is created. What your mind thinks about something is crucial in determining how you experience it. If you determine that this thing is unwanted, wrong or bad, you suffer.

But there’s this basic truth that we tend to forget:  Life is incapable of producing an event or condition that does not carry you to the next place in your evolution or that is not designed for your next expression of Divinity. Everything that has happened, is happening, or will happen in your life, is designed to help you evolve.

You see, the path of the soul does not require or include suffering or struggle. If you’ve been struggling, it is because you have not been following the path of your soul. You’ve taken a detour along a trail that led you away from the path, forgetting to remember who you really are, and where you were intending to go.

And underneath this truth lies a deeper one: Nothing that happens is “bad” for you. If it were bad for you, it wouldn’t be happening.

I know this is a difficult concept to grasp. There are a lot of painful things, devastating things that happen in life. And here I am telling you, they’re happening for your own good?

Well, yes. You see, when you realize and know that the reason you are here is to be an expression of Divinity, you can be sure that everything is placed before you to serve this Divine purpose—in other words, to serve your purpose because your purpose is the Divine purpose.

Let’s go a bit deeper.

Within an astonishingly short period of time following your birth, you came into contact with, analyzed, assembled and stored a monumental amount of data about the world. You did this so efficiently that after only a few years on this planet, it became essentially impossible for you to encounter any new experiences.

Now, you will continue, throughout your life, to experience new events, which are circumstances that happen outside of you. But you will not have new experiences, which are the ideas you hold, the decisions you make, and your emotional reactions to these events. And this is by design. You’re not supposed to encounter new experiences. You are supposed to encounter the same experiences over and over again.

Why? Because each event, occurrence, relationship, challenge, is an opportunity to respond not from the past, not from a previously chosen idea or emotion, but in a new way, a way that’s aligned with the grandest vision you hold about who you are and why you’re here.

Life presents us chance upon chance to change our way of reacting, change our old stories, to evolve into the highest version of ourselves that we can be. And this happens throughout our entire life.

So now the question becomes, if suffering occurs in our mind, how do we change it (our mind and thus the suffering)? How do we change deep, long-held ideas and reactions to the experiences in our lives, to choose instead from the path of the soul?

Through gratitude.

It’s a word we hear a lot, but I don’t know how much most of us actually experience it. You see, I’m not talking about simple gratitude. I’m talking about a level of gratitude that runs at the deepest level of one’s being; the gratitude that does, in fact, cause one to feel blissful in the experiencing of it.

The way for suffering to end and for struggle to be over, is to stay on the path. Gratitude returns you to the path. It speeds you in your evolution.

The first time I really felt this, the first time I connected to my soul and truly understood why things happen and just how perfect they were, I dropped to my knees with tears streaming down my face. It was the most exquisite experience. And I asked my soul, “How can I have more of this, how can I live in this state of pure appreciation for everything in my life?”

And my soul said to me: “You can summon it spontaneously, for no reason at all, simply as an act of will. You have to understand that gratitude is a decision and a creation, not a reaction.”

From that moment on, I began to summon the experience of gratitude, whether I felt it or not, in the first blush of any particularly challenging moment. I didn’t know if what my soul was telling me, if what I was coming to understand was really true, so I overlaid the feeling of gratitude, the experience of gratitude, on every thought, reaction and response to every situation, circumstance and event in my life. And you know what? It was like magic. Not only did it heal many moments that I would have previously thought of as “not okay,” but it brought into my life many new moments that were very okay, because the energy shift that the attitude change produced created future outcomes more in alignment with who I was choosing to be.

It’s interesting that gratitude may be one of the most powerful tools your mind has ever been given, but ironically enough, it’s one of the most underutilized. I think this is because most people are not aware of the immense power of gratitude to reverse a thought that is at the foundation of all suffering. Gratitude unleashes an energy that turns suffering on its head.

Gratitude opens the mind. It expands your normal, limited thinking to include a counterintuitive truth: even when something seems “bad” for you, it can actually be good for you.

It’s gratitude that gives you the power to do this, because gratitude gives you a fresh start. It’s like being born again and having the mind reset to zero. It wipes the slate clean of all prior negative judgments that you may have had, that you may even still now be holding about any person, event, circumstance or situation that has ever arisen in your life.

Whether your mind is caught up in memories of the past or you are deeply engaged in a challenging present moment and wish to change your mind this instant about it, you will in each case encounter gratitude.

When you make a commitment to use this tool, you will see how the energy you are carrying about any unwelcome event, past or present, can be transformed in the blink of an eye.

Simply say, “Thank you, thank you, God,” the moment that anything that you might perceive as “negative” occurs or presents itself in your memory. And declare what you are thanking God for.

“Thank you, God, for giving me this chance…”

to heal my thought that  ____ (whatever the thought might be)

to change my old story about ____ (whatever the story might be)

to release my tears and my fears around ____  (whatever the fear might be)

Daily Practice

Upon rising each morning, before you do anything else, say this prayer and watch as any struggle or suffering you’re experiencing begins to transform.

“Thank you, God, for another day and another chance to be my highest self.”

Such an announcement does more than merely put you in a good frame of mind. If you believe that what you thought about life has at least some effect on how life plays itself out, you must surely see that beginning each day with such a remarkable statement of faith in the process of life itself becomes formative in the process of life itself. You are declaring what you choose to co-create.

Why Meditation Can Help You Uncover Your Own True Nature

In this talk, Craig illuminates why spiritual awakening is not something that gets created, but is a path of uncovering an “essence” that’s been there since the beginning of time—a true nature that’s already enlightened. Through meditation, we practice the natural orientation of our true self, and take a stand against the momentum of habit that obstructs the expression of our true nature.

Discover a step-by-step path to awakening to your true nature. Download Craig’s Journey Into Freedom guided meditation program here.

About Craig Hamilton

Craig HamiltonCraig Hamilton is a pioneer in the emerging field of evolutionary spirituality and a leading voice in the movement for conscious evolution. As the guiding force behind Integral Enlightenment, Craig offers spiritual guidance and teachings to a growing international community spanning 50 countries around the world.

His introductory and advanced courses have more than 6,000 graduates to date. These courses are designed to support people who are committed to evolving themselves and our culture, yearn to make their greatest contribution, and seek to develop themselves to embrace this calling.

To provide effective support for these pioneers, Craig created the Academy for Evolutionaries, offering practical spiritual tools and training that are in step with our times and informed by an up-to-date understanding of the human condition. In this unique training ground, Craig brings together core insights and approaches based on decades of on-the-ground research at the leading edge of spiritual practice and inquiry.

Craig’s programs integrate decades of intensive spiritual practice with insights gleaned during his eight years as Senior Editor of the award winning What Is Enlightenment? magazine.

Craig’s work is highly acclaimed by thought leaders and spiritual teachers ranging from Ken Wilber, Michael Beckwith, and Barbara Marx Hubbard to Don Beck and Jean Houston, among many others. He is a founding member of Ken Wilber’s Integral Institute, a member of Deepak Chopra’s Evolutionary Leaders Forum, and was a participant in the Synthesis Dialogues, a 35-person interdisciplinary think tank presided over by His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

“The Tension That Sparks Attraction”

Listen to renowned Love and Relationships expert Mat Boggs being interviewed by our own Arielle Ford. He discusses how women can better understand the changing world of relationship roles, so they can quickly adapt to it and find the kind of passionate and supportive partner they need.  

Listen Here.

 

Daring Acts of Love

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We spend as much time talking about and thinking about our relationships and our relationship status as we do anything else. Yet in all of these questions and concerns, it’s easy to lose sight of what we are really after: love.

It’s like we live with a craving that never gets satisfied: we’re hungry for love, but we are feeding ourselves the wrong food. Here are three ways to realign your desire for love with the way you call it into your life.

  1. Focus on love not relationships. There is a big misunderstanding that love and relationships are the same thing—while they are related, they are not the same. Most of us walk around saying or thinking we want a “relationship” when in reality what we really need and desire is more love, in one of its many forms: connection, friendship, intimacy, compassion, companionship, affection, acknowledgement, and the list goes on. Change your focus to cultivating love and to generating the energy of that love you desire in your life instead of on finding or fixing a relationship, and you’ll find that you have more love and better relationships as a result.

Daring Act of Love: Ask for what you really want: Love. If you are single, stop saying “I want a relationship.” Start being specific about the love energy you want to pull in, “I am so ready to receive love from an awesome, compassionate, loving life partner” or “I am so ready to receive love from a sexy, sweet lover and companion.” If you are in relationship and desire more, be specific about what you desire to receive from this person, and be willing to give it too, “I’d love to receive more affection and intimacy” or “I’d love to receive more companionship and closeness.” Notice how saying these words invoke the energy of the love.  

  1. Every relationship starts with the relationship you have with yourself. OK, so you’ve probably heard this one but are you really living it? I haven’t met a person yet who couldn’t stand to improve the relationship they have with themselves. And if something isn’t working for you in getting the love you desire from out there, then you need to find what’s first not working with the love and relationship you have with yourself.

Daring Act of Love:  Take yourself out on a date, ask yourself what you need, and listen. When’s the last time you had a heart-to-heart with yourself? How long would you put up with a person you were dating or married to if they weren’t having deep and personal conversations with you? Hopefully not very long! Create intimacy with yourself by spending an evening really pampering yourself, and taking time to journal on the question, “What do I really need right now? To feel loved? To be happy? To be healthy? To feel safe and secure? To feel seen?” Then after you get all that information from yourself, make a promise to yourself to make sure you receive the love you need.

  1.  Love always creates more love. Not getting the love you need? Then be love. The energy you feel inside and that you put out there into the world comes back to you; it’s the simple Law of Attraction.

Daring Act of Love:  Be a love generator and make love for yourself. Don’t wait to receive love from someone else; you have the power to create it right now for yourself.

Try this: Do a Self Love Soak every morning. Before you get out of bed, close your eyes, curl up in a loving ball, hug yourself, and tell yourself, “[Your Name], I love you.” Keep saying these love words until you generate love, until you feel that warm tingly feeling of love in your body. Even if it’s just a little bit at first, just fake it ’til you make it, and keep generating love this way until it comes naturally and in big waves.

And here’s a bonus rule: Be unafraid to admit you need love—we all do. If you fear people thinking you are weak for needing love, then you weaken your ability to receive it. Be daring: desire love, need love, and let love in when it shows up at your heart’s doorstep!

Christine Arylo is a renowned relationship expert and the author of Madly in Love with Me.

The Qualities to Look for in A Life-Partner

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Hi there! Claire here…

 

Arielle and I shared during our opening to the Art of Love Summit event that what’s critical for a happy, healthy, lasting, loving relationship is the following…  

Key #1 is to Vision Your Soulmate Relationship.

  1. You feel chemistry and a soulmate connection. I love Arielle’s definition of a soulmate:

A soulmate is someone with whom you share a deep and profound connection and feel that you can completely be yourself. Someone you love unconditionally, and who loves you unconditionally, and when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being at “home.”  

  1. You need to share the same values and want the same things out of life

These don’t need to be the same surface interests, such as you both like to drink green juice and go to yoga retreats (remember, Liz Gilbert said during the Finale that some of her worst relationships were with men who shared these interests with her!)

It’s more about you wanting the same things out of life and being able to support each other to fulfill your aspirations and potentials.

  1. They have the qualities that are essential in a good life-partner.

These are some of the highlights of what you should expect from someone you’re considering getting into a long-term relationship with:

You count on them to keep you physically and emotionally safe

When you are stressed out, hurt, or ill, they provide concern and assistance

When you share your thoughts, feelings and worries. they listen and respond with compassion, empathy and care

You trust them and you count on them to keep their word

They want to spend time with you and they make future plans with you

They celebrate your wins in life and hold your hands in the down times

They are financially responsible (much more important than a bank balance in any given moment)

Your happiness is as important to them as your own as is theirs to you

TIP: Being open, receptive and available for love enables you to feel and sense potential soulmate connections.

Love Power Statement: I am already connected to my soulmate and open and available right now to meet my beloved.

During our Amplify Your Love Manifesting Power kick-off session we talked about how you can open to the possibility of great love and begin your soulmate relationship now!

“This event was so magical!!! One of the shifts that I’ve experienced has sparked from connecting the golden cord from my heart to that of my soulmate.”

Carly

AND, one other thing you MUST know about in the process of clarifying your vision for love is understanding the new science of “attachment theory”.

In his incredibly enlightening Keynote The Skills to Create Lasting Bonds, attachment expert Dr. Amir Levine explained the 3 attachment styles that develop from early childhood and how you can use this information to find your mate!

Here’s an except from Dr. Levine’s Keynote:

“If, for example, we love to be intimate and close, yet we’re very sensitive to threat in the relationship, we have what we call the Anxious Attachment Style.

If we love to be close and we’re loving and warm, yet we are not that sensitive to threat to the relationship, we don’t think something terrible is going to happen to the relationship, if we stumble, if we have a fight we don’t think it’s the end of the world, then we tend to have what we call a Secure Attachment Style.

“Then the Avoidance Attachment Style is someone who also is, as I told you, we all have this system in the brain to choose someone else from the crowd and make them special and unique, but something strange happens when once they’ve chosen and once closeness has been reached in a relationship…

They start to feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and intimacy and they find ways to keep their partners at arm’s length.”

According to Dr. Levine, many anxious women seem to reject secure men and it’s one of the key things to understand and overcome if you’re an “anxious” type looking for a loving relationship.

“It’s very, very helpful for people to understand that sometimes they’ve been conditioned in the way that’s not favorable to them. Oftentimes people, when they meet someone, especially someone anxious, when they meet someone avoidant, initially there could be this feeling of magic that happens between them and then, the unavailability of the other person.

So, they are constantly activated waiting for them to call or waiting for them to get together. Then once they get together, it’s like, “Sheeeew,” they can relax and they feel better. People mistakenly think that this is passion. They mistaken anxiety to passion. I try to show people that it has nothing to do with passion. It’s really more anxiety of someone who is intermittently unavailable or available, which kind-of sensitizes the system. That’s one thing to really, really be careful of.

Then the other things is, and it has to do more with, that our society tends to equate masculinity with avoidance. I think really, mistakenly, people think, “All men need to go into their man cave. All men can’t really express their feelings. All masculine men are quiet and reserved,” which is completely untrue when you actually look at the research.

The research shows that the vast majority of men—fifty something percent of the population—are secure. They’re very comfortable talking about their emotions. They’re very comfortable talking about being close and intimate. They don’t need to go into their man cave. There’s also a good majority of men that are anxious. I think what happens is that women tend to equate avoidance with masculinity and that’s also something that I work on with people, to see that it can be very different.”

So, one of the key question in looking for someone with the capacity to be a great life partner is learning how to sport a “secure” type man.

How do we do that? Dr Levine explains:

“From the very beginning through dating—I like to always show movie clips of secure relationships, some movies and TV shows, that really drives the message home that—things are effortless. When you go out with someone who’s secure, they are dependable, they will ask you out at the end of the first date or soon thereafter. They wear their emotions on their sleeves. It’s easy for them to say how they feel. You know that you’re seen and that your needs are important.

Especially if you learn how to use these tools that I teach, where you actually send probes out there to see if they can understand your needs and respond to them, then it’s much easier to spot the secure man or a secure woman.

The most important thing is to really trust your instincts and learn how to use this Attachment way of communicating in order to bring out the security in people and to be able to tell if someone is insecure and they would now be able to give you what you need.

 

With love,

Claire

 

Does your Inner House Need Cleaning?

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Quantum physics suggests that you, the observer, are intimate and entangled with the universe in ways that affect the reality of what is observed. To put it another way, As viewed, so appears.

How we observe anything – and that includes your beliefs, prejudices, habits, and hopes – is how things will come into being; or, everything is in a state of possibility until it is perceived.

That is why you have to clean up your act so that your perception is not haunted by old, outmoded thoughts and moods, but is, rather, fresh and new and vibrant with possibility and new beliefs.

My student, George, said to me that he had clear intentions, and actively did visualizations, acted out as if these things were already in his life, felt and tasted them—and they would appear, sort of. Some semblance of his intention would show up, but usually accompanied by entanglements and complications that complicated matters. In fact, it was the same “stuff” that he always carried with him and worried about in the back of his mind.

What I told George is what I’m sharing here: When life keeps delivering the “same old same old,” and your efforts to create something new fall short, it’s time for an inner housecleaning.

Every single day you must effort to clear away the old, useless weeds of your mind. Give heed to what you think, and banish sorrow and dismay. Do not allow yourself to dwell in failure. Give up your notion of obstacles. Think instead of open doors, opportunities, and paths unfolding under your feet leading to marvelous events and fulfilling happenings.

This is the new habit you must adopt to replace old mental and emotional patterns that keeps delivering the same results. You brush your teeth; do you brush your mind? Or do you let it go stale and flat? But when you brush your mind and cleanse your emotions and habits, it’s as if the universe woke up to who you really are and said, “Hot dog! We’ve got a live one there! We can work with her.”

My student, George did this, diligently, every day—and it worked. Within several weeks his positive, creative intentions came into being, clear and fresh without the added unwanted, old games that were tripping him up.

A clearer mind brings a clearer field of possibility and accomplishments.

The Habits of Inner Housecleaning

  1. Believe. Believe mind, heart, and gut that you can have what you intend to because you now know how the universe works.
  2. Exude joy. Be present in every moment and celebrate your very being. Every single moment you are signaling to life what’s possible for you. When you raise your awareness and raise your vibration, you tell the universe that you are available to partner in ways that assure a very different outcome than the ones in which you felt trapped.
  3. Realize that every moment, every breath provides a fresh opportunity.

Inhale, and breathe in new life, new possibility.

Exhale, banish all the old stuff that no longer works.

Inhale deeply and breathe in deeply new life, new possibility. Feel this new life, this breath, moving through your entire body/ mind.

Exhale fully as you expel any toxic, old thoughts.

You breathe in new life, new possibilities, new energy, what you truly wish to intend to bring into manifestation.

You breathe out all the dregs and toxic worries that no longer are part of you.

Jean Houston, PhD, is one of the foremost authors and visionaries on the topic of transformation of our time. Learn more about her Quantum Powers teaching here.

Enlisting Spirit in Your Quest for Love

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If a soulmate is someone placed on our path for the purposes of our spiritual evolution, it makes sense that Divine forces stand at the ready to help us meet and navigate this sacred journey to love. That’s the message from spiritual leaders and personal growth teachers who participated in our last illuminating Art of Love Summit series.

“The real prayer in manifesting a soulmate, more than trying to direct anything or control anything, is ultimately surrender,” says teacher and author of You Are The One, Kute Blackson.

It’s saying to the Divine, “Universe, Spirit, Great One, I am open, I am available,” he adds.  

But there are also important lessons to be sowed from this process. It’s not just, “God, bring my soulmate to me” and, wham-o the perfect lifelong partner just shows up and you both live happily ever after, teachers say.  

“We tend to romanticize [the idea of a] soulmate so much and we get so disappointed when we find out they are still human beings with imperfections and stuff that we have to really contend with and learn about,” says interfaith reverend Laurie Sue Brockway.

This, in fact, is one of the juiciest truths about coupling with a true soulmate: It is a perfect meeting of perfectly imperfect Divine souls that come into each other’s lives to catalyze personal growth—which can be messy and challenging business.

“I see a soulmate as a partner and a spiritual guide in many ways and another being that will be there to really help you awaken your presence of the Divine, whether that may be uncomfortable at times and very blissful at times. It’s a powerful relationship that can be a catalyst for your greatest awakening,” says author and inspirational speaker Gabrielle Bernstein.

And the right person to be our partner on this most spiritual journey may not be immediately clear to us, either.

“With our conditioning, our personalities, and our own minds, we don’t always perceive clearly. We might think we know what we need, but we don’t always know,” says Blackson.

There is also the issue of timing. Humans tend to want things when they want them—and the Divine doesn’t work on our schedule.

Wabi Sabi Love author Arielle Ford shares the story of a woman who had spent a few years doing tremendous personal work to ready herself for love, and was frustrated that she still hadn’t met her One. When she did, after three years, she learned that this man had been widowed a year earlier, and was finally coming out of mourning. They’ve been happily married for more than 25 years.

“So there was this very, very good reason [this woman hadn’t met her soulmate yet],” Ford says, adding that this is often the way the Divine path to love works. “One person’s ready and God’s preparing the other.”

But there is much we can do—and must do—while we let the Universe work its magic, these teachers say.

Take good care of ourselves—mind, body, and spirit.  

Clear out the old, heavy and no-longer-needed detritus of our lives to create room for something new. This might  include cleaning out drawers and cabinets and getting rid of old “stuff” that no longer serves us.

Embark upon activities and practices that make us feel empowered, juicy and alive.

“If you want to really find your soulmate, you can’t do anything more important than be ready for it,” says Brockway.  “Getting your own soul in shape, getting your life in shape, doing all the practical things: making sure you are [healthy], taking care of your financial life, dealing with family issues, doing anything you would need to do to begin to remove those blocks that get in the way of letting in love.”

Not only is this personal work important to create a clear space, it’s necessary to clear our “spiritual eyes,” with which we will notice the hints, nudges, and guidance that the Universe is trying to give to us, says Brockway.

Equally important, these teachers say, is that when we’re not clear and ready for higher love, it’s easy to “project our fantasies onto anybody who shows up or we just begin to follow a path that is not the path toward the true soulmate,” Brockway adds.

This is what Bernstein calls “manifestation mishap.”

“When we get into this phase of wanting and needing that partner the moment we think is right for us, we are manipulating the natural order,” she says. Instead, when we work to release all the blocks to the presence of love within us, “then we can trust and know that we’re being guided toward our match.”

As you clear your own field and source a sense of inner love, wellness, and fulfillment, your energetic vibration rises.  That’s when “we’re guided toward the energy that will be like us,” says Bernstein.  

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to scrub away all your perceived imperfections or become enlightened in order to attract true love into your life. This misperception has trapped many seekers of the heart, says Ford. “We don’t have to be perfect before we meet the one,” she says.  

“You just want to put yourself in a high enough space that when your beloved shows up in front of you and you recognize that person, you can really do that work together,” Brockway adds.  “You’re not having that person come in and save you or fix you, but [instead the two of you can] begin to really utilize the power of love to bring yourselves, each other, to a higher space in life.”

This is one of the best times for prayer, to help stay in the knowledge of the Divine perfection of your highest love union will show up in your life exactly when the time is right.

“I think that is a really powerful prayer for a person who is in the place of manifesting a romantic partner, is to stay committed to the faithfulness that what it is that we desire will be given to us in a form that is far greater than we could ever imagine and at a time that is far better than we can ever plan,” says Bernstein. “Really accepting that is part of the process of real manifestation, because when we genuinely have the power to manifest is when we are genuinely centered in the process of patience.”

A Prayer for Love

by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Dear God, loving essence of all there is, please fill me with your sacred presence. I ask for your love and guidance and for your blessings. As I explore the deep reaches of my heart, I ask for your assistance in releasing all that stands in the way of true love. May I be embraced in the circle of your love, may I be uplifted by your grace and may the arms of my true beloved find me. So it is.

Are Money Issues Getting in the Way?

Money problems in relationships are almost never about money (just as sexual problems are almost never about sex.) We’ve seen couples with hundreds of millions of dollars worth of assets argue for days because one of them bought the more expensive brand of toilet paper.

If it’s actually not about money, what’s it about?


Control

Money struggles between people are often tied to the issue of control. The real issue is not money, it’s about both people struggling to prove who’s boss in the relationship. When there are unresolved control struggles, it’s very easy to hook them to money. Underneath the surface issue of money, though, is where the real resolution can occur. When people are engaged in a control struggle, they’re really engaged in a struggle with fear. Fear is at the root of most control struggles, and that’s why a couple of billionaires can fight about toilet paper expenditures. Both people are usually scared about something they’ve never confronted. Abandonment, loss of love, loss of recognition and approval are often the specific fears that haven’t been faced.

Creativity

Creativity is another hidden issue that drives money arguments. If both people in a relationship are tapped into their creativity, they’ll never feel tapped out with regard to money. If you’re not accessing your creativity and expressing it in a satisfying way, though, you’ll feel impoverished no matter what you’re worth. Let me give you an example. A couple sought our assistance in a money-battle that had been going on between them for months. The surface subject was the “dream house” they were building in the mountains. Because of the huge cost overruns in the building process, they were working overtime to generate several million dollars extra to pay for the house.

As we explored the issue, it emerged that both of them were taking on projects they didn’t want to do so they could make the money to pay for the house. Because they were both doing things they didn’t want to do, they were fighting constantly over trivial things like which kind of doorknobs to put in the new house.

We asked them: What’s the ultimate purpose of the dream house? They said that once they were living in the dream house in the mountains, they would have the time and space to do the kinds of creative things they really wanted to do. Almost as soon as those words left their mouths, they turned to each other in wonderment as they realized the trap they’d stepped into.

It’s a trap that most of us are familiar with: Getting the Be-Do-Have formula backwards. We erroneously think that if we Have Something (like a dream house), we’ll be able to Do What We Really Want, and this will allow us to Be Happy (or creative or at peace or fill-in-the-blank). In reality, we always learn, though sometimes too late, that it works the other way around. Life only works well when we focus on Being first, whether it’s being creative, being happy, being satisfied or something else. Then, from that space of Being, we can Do things that allow us to Have things we can enjoy and feel proud of.

 

We made a practical suggestion to the couple: Rather than hoping that your dream house will give you time and space to be creative, give yourself time and space to be creative today. Start with 10 minutes of free time to journal and meditate and stroll around the block. Give yourself a few minutes of Being right now, and you’ll find that the money struggles disappear.

Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and his wife, body-mind integration therapist Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, are the authors of Conscious Loving and Five Wishes. They run The Hendricks Institute, which is based in Ojai, California and offers seminars worldwide.